How Breaking Things Will Make Me Rich

Earlier this week I was sitting at my dentist’s office, and because I did not have anything better to do, I broke my glasses.

I had already seen the dentist, who pronounced my teeth cavity free and my gums healthy, and I was awaiting my turn to see the hygienist to have my teeth cleaned.  My glasses had been ever so slightly askew for over a month, having been knocked around a bit while I was rough housing with my daughter.  They had not bothered me previously, but sitting there for with nothing to do for five minutes, I took it into my head that I would try to bend the side piece just a teeny bit.  It would not move easily, so I applied more force.  SNAP! I had two pieces in my hands where there should be only one.  At that moment, the hygienist arrived to collect me, so I placed my broken glasses on my nose and tried to walk past her in a dignified manner, hoping she would not notice the glaring lack of a side piece on my frames or that perhaps she would think it was a new trend in eye wear.

This is not the first time I have broken something because I exerted too much force on it instead of gently testing its limits.  At my house, this is sarcastically referred to as Mom’s Gentle Touch.  If a drawer is jammed, a handle is missing, or a door won’t latch, it is assumed that Mom’s Gentle Touch has been there.  The assumption is generally correct.  I once broke a present from my husband within minutes of unwrapping it. It was a beautiful candle holder with a decorative row of painted metal flower petals around the base.  I wanted to see if the petals were adjustable to secure different size candles.  They were not.  I was left with a broken petal in my hand and the insane urge to throw it over my shoulder before he saw the sad evidence of what I had done.

I can only offer as my defense the notion that perhaps this tendency is an innate part of me – it’s been occurring for as long as anyone can remember.  As a young toddler, I earned the family nickname “Baby Destructo” for my tendency to wreak havoc anywhere I went.  I have many a childhood memory of standing outside curio and gift shops, having been relegated there so that I would not cause upheaval inside.  I was never purposely destructive.  It was something that simply…happened.  I am the type of person who needs to see things not only with my eyes, but also with my hands.

While writing this I ran a quick web search to see if this impulsive behavior that so frequently leads to disaster could possibly have any purpose – an upside, if you will, to the trail of damages often left behind me.  I discovered this:  Mark Zuckerberg, co-founder of Facebook, was quoted as saying, “Move fast and break things.  Unless you are breaking stuff, you are not moving fast enough.”  This man, with an estimated net worth of $9 billion, actually prizes quick actions that lead to breakage – apparently it is the sign of a creative, inquisitive mind.  He wants to employ this type of person; it leads to cutting edge innovation and increased profits.

So, there is hope for me yet.  With a bit of luck, I could capitalize on this quality and use it to start a lucrative career.  I plan on mentioning this to my husband.  Perhaps tonight, just before I ask him to take a look at the glove box in my vehicle which has ‘mysteriously’ jammed and won’t open.  Yes, that would be the perfect time, don’t you agree?

broken glasses 002
The frames weren’t salvageable. I ended up buying new frames and having the old lenses inserted into them. I made sure they came with a warranty that covered breakage this time.

 

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